On Survivor Guilt















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January 22 always hits me right between the eyes. I see it coming on the calendar weeks ahead of time and I make plans—happy plans that involve doing things with my family—things that I hope will distract me from the sober reality of the day. But then the day arrives, and inevitably I find myself hugging a box of Kleenex.

The truth is, I should have been aborted.

Okay, okay. I know I shouldn’t have been aborted because I wasn’t, but statistically, I should have been discarded the day my birth mom learned of my existence. She met all the acceptable criteria for an abortion.

Bottom line: She was unprepared and I was unwanted.

And yet here I am.

It’s almost 7pm and I am hoping the waterworks stop before my Kleenex run out, otherwise it’s going to get ugly.

Here’s the thing. We talk about children all the time in this country. Politicians use children as props to promote their causes (gun control, education, national debt). But you’ll notice that when a politician wants to discuss abortion, he puts a woman on stage and not a child.

You’ll never find children on the stage of a pro-abortion discussion. It’s a whole lot harder to talk about abortion when you’re looking at children instead of statistics.

So here it goes.

I am no statistic. I am a human being. I am the product of a relationship that didn’t last. I was not planned and likewise unwanted by those who would have been my family. My birth mother was unprepared for motherhood, didn’t have a place to live, had an ultimatum from a boyfriend, and barely had money in her pocket. But—with the help of those who saw my birth mother as a person instead of a problem—she found the courage to do the hard thing. As a result, I was adopted. I have adopted. I will adopt again.

Next time you hear people couching abortion as a “woman’s right,” consider the fact that women-to-be are aborted every single day. The only women whose rights get honored are the ones who were given life in the first place.

Today is a dark day in this country. January 22, 1973, was stamped on death certificates for millions who were not yet conceived.

That it wasn’t stamped on mine is something I pray I will never take for granted.


  1. Wow, Tricia… thanks for being so open here. I am definitely sharing this with my blog readers! And praise God for how He works!!

    • Barbara Maule says:

      I am glad that I had my box of Kleenex close by as well. I am so very thankful that you are in my life on this “chilly” evening, dear.

  2. Beautiful!

  3. You were definitely wanted by us! “For this child we prayed.”

  4. I was adopted also, but was born November 1972, just before this passed, which always made me thankful. I just had to come to a place where I could believe that although my birth parents didn’t plan for me, that God did, and that He always has been and will be my Father. He was there at my birth and was filled with joy when I arrived. He is so good.

  5. Adoption is the most beautiful unselfish gift a birth mother can give to their child. I have the most beautiful child because of this gift.

  6. Thank you for your encouraging testimony. Praise God for His grace.

  7. Wow. I am so happy you are part of my life. so thankful to be part of yours. Thank you for encouraging other, not just to think biblically but to give more than we receive. I love you friend. I will share this with everybody,

    Te quiero.

  8. Thank you for sharing your story. I too am a “Survivor of Roe v. Wade” my birth mother was 21, in college and her boyfriend had just left her and transferred to a different university. She was young, alone and pregnant. I am so thankful that someone spoke up for me, someone spoke the truth to her and she loved me enough to give me life. I was adopted and have had a wonderful life with loving parents and a great big brother and I am so thankful for the woman that was my first mother.

  9. Thank the Good Lord that we have you, Trisha. You’re a blessing. And you’re spot on about the tiny women in the womb, in my opinion. I’ve thought of that fact myself.

    I do believe that I have the right/choice to do anything I wish with MY body, and I’ll gladly tell the pro-choice people that. But I’ll quickly follow up with “but I have no right to do anything I wish with anybody ELSE’s body.” They just can’t logically argue with that, as MY body does not have two hearts, four arms, etc. That’s quite obvious.

  10. As one of the unplanned and unwanted too, I am blessed to be here. I am so thankful that my birth mother made the choice to give me up for adoption. I too grieve for the millions of children that were not given the chance at life. Thank you for your heart in sharing your experience.


  1. […] someone who was adopted, I should have had a better understanding of what it means to share a life, but I did not, at least […]

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